partybarackisinthehousetonight:

when a cop yells “freeze” you can yell back “now everybody clap yo hands” and he is required by law to start clapping or else he will be arrested for treason and possibly deported from the country

(via iwillfind-myownbravado)

jungtaekitten:

I wish I was pretty but like actually pretty, not “my friends and family think I’m pretty because they’re my friends and family” pretty

(via crunchier)

Does anyone else lie in bed at 2:30am filled with the crippling fear that they’re never going to accomplish anything in life and fail miserably or is that just me

(via sadwifiprincess)

vvant:

im just so glad the word “ugh” was invented

(via sadwifiprincess)

saintlukas:

matchless:

*prays that I instantly become hot at 18*

*ok let’s shoot for 21*

(Source: matchless, via orgasm)

untexting:

i’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one

(via orgasm)